It is in human nature to regret, or should I say, contemplate alternative outcomes of a past event or decision and feel bad about the actual outcome. Normally I would elaborate with examples of what kind of regrets we usually have, but I daresay all of us are familiar with them already. What's the bet, while reading this you are probably thinking about that one big regret you have in your life. We all do. That is in our very nature.
Is there a way that we do not end up with any regrets at all in life? Yes, there is. Did I get to this part too soon? I think so. Before I have any regrets for writing the shortest article on my profile, I will take you around the excruciating realm of regret - it will probably make you value that way all the more.
First of all, what does "having no regrets" mean? Does it mean that you do everything so perfectly and take every decision so correctly that there is never an undesirable outcome, or that you do not hurt a single soul? That is one way. But let's be honest. How feasible is that way? Can we make all the right choices all our life? Definitely not. But then again, is there a wrong choice, or is there a wrong outcome?
There is however, one way, that is extremely hard, and is more of something to do in succession, rather than as a pre-emptive measure, unlike the earlier hypothetical way - just be grateful. I, for one, have personally experienced a physical accident every time I have not been grateful in life. I can put my finger on 3 of the very recent accidents that I have been through, one of which broke my jaw and teeth, one that broke my left elbow and another that broke my right ankle; all of these happened to me on the day I was least grateful towards what /i had. How am I still so ingrate despite these 3 accidents, you might ask, but hey, I am just getting there - I am not omniscient!
But this is something that all of us can implement - just be grateful for what you have. Don't have a life partner yet? At least you have a family. Don't have work-life balance? At least you have a job. It is useless to compare yourself with others who are less privileged than you, even if it is just to make yourself feel better. There is always going to be someone who has more than you do, albeit their problems might be different. Thinking of the less privileged will only help if you do something for them. Sponsor a child's education, maybe give your old books or clothes to the ones who really need them, buy a small sandwich for that hungry old man at the traffic signal. Anyway, this is not about social service. What I meant to say is that if you want to make yourself feel better, do something for the needy.
I am trying hard not to digress here. Do not want any regrets? Just be grateful. It may seem a bit unrelated, but that is what I have realised over the years. There are people who will do just about everything that is humanly possible just so they "don't have any regrets" in life. But isn't regret about what I did that went wrong, rather than what I missed doing that I will never get to do again? A life strategy of minimising regrets guarantees that you suffer the most. And if you are unlucky, you will end up hurting more people along with yourself. And that, if you have a conscience, will ensure that you end up with more regrets than you tried to avoid in the first place.
For those who watch Hindi movies, a movie called 'Kal Ho Naa Ho' ('There May Not Be A Tomorrow) beautifully explains this concept. It is not about a dying man who does everything that he could've done had he been alive. It is about a dying man, who teaches the more fortunate ones, how to live life fully, while being grateful for what they have. That, according to me, is the best way to avoid any regrets. The biggest regret one can ever have is to have hurt someone's feelings, in any manner.
For the things that you have already done, whose results you do not like, are already gone. Past is prologue. I agree that you have landed in a very bad spot by taking that one decision, but is life over? Stop punishing yourself. Regret itself is a form of punishment. Isn't that what you wanted to do at that point of time? You did what was best then. Or at least what you thought was. Imagine having someone else do that for you. Be grateful for what you have now. The birds, the trees, the air, the hills, the valleys, the rivers outside are all the same. Nothing has changed. There is still time. There is still a tomorrow.
Is there a way that we do not end up with any regrets at all in life? Yes, there is. Did I get to this part too soon? I think so. Before I have any regrets for writing the shortest article on my profile, I will take you around the excruciating realm of regret - it will probably make you value that way all the more.
First of all, what does "having no regrets" mean? Does it mean that you do everything so perfectly and take every decision so correctly that there is never an undesirable outcome, or that you do not hurt a single soul? That is one way. But let's be honest. How feasible is that way? Can we make all the right choices all our life? Definitely not. But then again, is there a wrong choice, or is there a wrong outcome?
There is however, one way, that is extremely hard, and is more of something to do in succession, rather than as a pre-emptive measure, unlike the earlier hypothetical way - just be grateful. I, for one, have personally experienced a physical accident every time I have not been grateful in life. I can put my finger on 3 of the very recent accidents that I have been through, one of which broke my jaw and teeth, one that broke my left elbow and another that broke my right ankle; all of these happened to me on the day I was least grateful towards what /i had. How am I still so ingrate despite these 3 accidents, you might ask, but hey, I am just getting there - I am not omniscient!
But this is something that all of us can implement - just be grateful for what you have. Don't have a life partner yet? At least you have a family. Don't have work-life balance? At least you have a job. It is useless to compare yourself with others who are less privileged than you, even if it is just to make yourself feel better. There is always going to be someone who has more than you do, albeit their problems might be different. Thinking of the less privileged will only help if you do something for them. Sponsor a child's education, maybe give your old books or clothes to the ones who really need them, buy a small sandwich for that hungry old man at the traffic signal. Anyway, this is not about social service. What I meant to say is that if you want to make yourself feel better, do something for the needy.
I am trying hard not to digress here. Do not want any regrets? Just be grateful. It may seem a bit unrelated, but that is what I have realised over the years. There are people who will do just about everything that is humanly possible just so they "don't have any regrets" in life. But isn't regret about what I did that went wrong, rather than what I missed doing that I will never get to do again? A life strategy of minimising regrets guarantees that you suffer the most. And if you are unlucky, you will end up hurting more people along with yourself. And that, if you have a conscience, will ensure that you end up with more regrets than you tried to avoid in the first place.
For those who watch Hindi movies, a movie called 'Kal Ho Naa Ho' ('There May Not Be A Tomorrow) beautifully explains this concept. It is not about a dying man who does everything that he could've done had he been alive. It is about a dying man, who teaches the more fortunate ones, how to live life fully, while being grateful for what they have. That, according to me, is the best way to avoid any regrets. The biggest regret one can ever have is to have hurt someone's feelings, in any manner.
For the things that you have already done, whose results you do not like, are already gone. Past is prologue. I agree that you have landed in a very bad spot by taking that one decision, but is life over? Stop punishing yourself. Regret itself is a form of punishment. Isn't that what you wanted to do at that point of time? You did what was best then. Or at least what you thought was. Imagine having someone else do that for you. Be grateful for what you have now. The birds, the trees, the air, the hills, the valleys, the rivers outside are all the same. Nothing has changed. There is still time. There is still a tomorrow.
liked it. nicely written tanuj
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